• John Wastnage

Being irrational can help us to achieve clarity

Updated: Apr 25

A few years ago I was in a long-term relationship that had turned into a long-distance one. I was getting ready to pack up my life and move to another country to make a life with my girlfriend. Whenever anyone asked me about my girlfriend I had an endless list of her qualities and all the reasons why I loved her. And then I started to suffer from stomach problems and insomnia.

Tune out your prefrontal cortex to hear your gut/heart


I had no problem getting to sleep, partially because I was so tired, but every night I woke up at 3.30am unable to sleep again. It got to the point where I wasn’t functioning properly at work or outside of work. And then out of the blue I started to realise that my girlfriend, as wonderful as she was, wasn’t quite the right fit for me, or that I wasn’t right for the relationship I was in. I think it took months of sleep deprivation to shut down my rational conscious brain so that my deep mind and my gut could be heard.


I look back now and I can see that the relationship had not been right for a while, but I was caught in the comfortable routine of loving and being loved and was quite in awe of her as a person. Most of us are not good at listening to our intuition, our gut, our deep mind and we try to replace it with reason. Since then I’ve invested thousands of hours of reading and thinking in understanding how to listen to my intuition and look beyond the rational arguments and socialised beliefs of my neocortex.


When I’m coaching it’s those moments when the other person has a breakthrough and starts to see the world and themself in a new way that I find most exciting. That’s what my coaching is all about - transformational conversations that open up new ways of thinking about and seeing your world.


If you’re interested in how to break out of your current situation just send me a message now to discuss your situation and to find out how my coaching can help. Alternatively go ahead and book the 30-minute ‘taster’ coaching session (on the Get Started’ page).


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